What Next?

Sometimes I wonder if being single is what I really want.  Usually it's right after (or during) a wedding.  During a wedding is usually when my brain starts thinking about it so that by the time I get to the reception..well the reception is usually the point at which everything gets busy with dancing, toasts, etc so you forget about "real life" but then after it's all said and done and reality sets back in the brain (or at least my brain) starts thinking about the events of the day.    This is when things like my marriage come to mind.  being the last single sibling was hard to take at first.  I didn't think it would be.  "I can handle it."  Not really.  It took some time.  Not a lot of time but the week of Joel's (my last brother to get married) wedding was not easy.  I'll be the first to admit there were tears shed. 

I went to a wedding recently and again, I started thinking about the fact that i was single.  Why was this such an issue?  Did it have something to do wit the fact that I'm turning 40 in a week?  A mid life crisis? A bit early for that.  :-)  When asked I've always talked about the verse that says singleness is a gift  ("I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another^. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.  (1 Corinthians 7:7-8) Also, as of right now I believe that God as called me to being single.  Of course that may change.  (It hasn't been all that easy either.)  Only He knows what my future holds.    That said, given that Jesus said "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and ^(C)the two shall become one flesh.", (Matthew 19:5) it only stands to reason that thoughts would arise in a single person's mind, even if God has called me to be single.  It's a natural feeling.  Right now I'm trying to figure out what to do with them.  I think leaving them at the foot of the cross is my best bet and so that's what I've done.  I'll see where the tide takes me.  I'm looking forward to this adventure!