Learning Lessons

I was thinking last night about Grandma.  She's been diagnosed with cancer and has been undergoing chemo for several months now (I think).  Prior to her being diagnosed she had started to lose weight.  I remember seeing a picture and thinking "What happened to her?" and being thankful I didn't have to see her like that.  I wanted to remember the grandma that I knew  The last one that I saw.  I suppose that sounds terrible but it's what I thought and I can't change that.

As time has passed and things have gotten worse I've continued to be thankful that I'm in Ohio and not Michigan so I don't have to see her.  (I am going somewhere with this.  It sounds pretty bad right now but please bear with me.)    Legitimately, my job keeps me from doing a lot of travel and I've been sending cards to her on a regular basis.  I know that's an encouragement.  I was finally able to talk to her on the phone and she said something to me about how maybe she could see me the next time I was in town.  I said I'd try but work was keeping me away.  The second time I talked to her she said it again.  Again, I said I'd try.  This time though I think something stuck in my head.  That internal hard drive in my brain started processing.  Last night it hit me.  It's not about me!  She wants to see me before she dies.  Who cares what she looks like!  This really is almost a closure for her.  I'm the only grandson she hasn't seen.  Here I am trying to keep everything the way it was for me and not even thinking about her.  Ouch.  That hurt.  So.  Where to go from here?  Well, I'm headed up to Michigan in a few weeks to see my parents (beginning of August) so I'll make sure to see her then and Grandpa as well.  In the mean time I'll continue to send her cards, call and email her. as I've been doing.  Man!  As much as I know you learn something new every day I sure am learning a lot about a lot of things I never really thought about before.  I think when you get to a certain age your brain starts thinking differently.  Maybe it resets.  Or maybe refocuses is a better word.  What it resets then refocuses on is totally dependent on us. 

My brother Daniel told me once that I should have a picture on every blog post.  I chose this picture because Grandma had this picture hanging in the library at church.  Yes.  She's not gone but I thought it would be cool to use it anyway