The Real Reason for the Season

  

This time of year is traditionally a time where friends and family get together and much like others that has been a tradition in our family for many years.  In recent years it's gotten harder as our family has grown much bigger, the distances between us are greater, and of course each family is at that point where they have children of their own and are establishing traditions of their own.

 

    Now, while gathering with friends and family isn't the "reason for the season" it has become something that coincides with it.  The difference between Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate this time of year) and say the 4th of July is the giving of gifts.  When  people gather on the 4th they cook burgers and watch fireworks.  At Christmas there is the tradition of giving gifts.  I suppose both holidays are traditional.  Ironically, the focus of both has been lost with either Black Friday sales or cookouts.  We mention our Veterans at some point during the day and the History Channel runs specials all day but it's more important that we get a day off, spend time at the beach, have a huge retail shopping day/weekend and then fireworks (which are rarely ever on the 4th anymore anyway).  Then of course there's Christmas, which, while it is a pagan holiday (History of Christmas) it can still be a day where we, as believers, can choose to celebrate the birth of Christ, regardless of when he was actually born.  Since there is no way we can know for sure the actual date we could celebrate Christmas in August.  The important thing is that we recognize that he was born, not when he was born.  Who cares when he was born.  The fact that he was born is the most important part.  If he hadn't have been born, he couldn't have died.  Then we'd all be in a world of hurt.  Our goal, whenever regardless of when Christmas is celebrated should be to make sure people know why it's celebrated.  That's the best gift we can give.  It's a gift that a lot of us (myself included) have dropped the ball on.    I had a guy say to me that after Christmas Jesus would go back in his cave until Easter.  If I'm at least showing him (and others for that matter) that Jesus is not in a cave but is still alive and with us each and every day I'm doing him and myself a disservice regardless of whether or not he agrees with me.  You know, I wonder if that is more the reason for the season.  To celebrate and share that he was born while remembering (and sharing as well) why we, as believers, celebrate Christmas. 

 

Why Be Thankful?

  After a very long month, one that
hopefully will never be repeated, aside from being thankful that the month is over and I'm still employed I think that the     above question is still one that needs to be asked and addressed. Our culture is very consumer driven. It's all about the "next big thing". What's the new iPhone going to look like?  Will there be yet another Elmo this year?  Who knows?  I do know one thing. I really shouldn't care. There's more to life then TV, movies, and gadgets. What about the mind?  Have we gotten so complacent as to just be looking forward to movies and the next TV season?  Harsh words yes. But what about our families, friends, and for some of us, our relationship with God? These relationships suffer the longer our focus remains on things.  Over the last year I've seen a lot of death. Some expected, some not. We never know how much time we have. Every moment counts. Try to make them count!  I'm so thankful for the..(now)...oh boy...eight nieces and one nephew (poor kid) but especially for the other nineteen (I think) I'm so thankful they stuck by me during such a tough month. Why?  That's what a family does. Unless of course you're having a baby. :). 

Thanks guys!  

Remembered but not Forgotten: The Last Moments

You might think this is going to be patriotic.  It's not.  I suppose it could be with 9/11 approaching but honestly I wasn't thinking about that when I chose the picture.  My focus was the headstone.  It seems that over the last few months (i.e. posts) my thoughts have been on different stages of life.  There have been a lot of drastic changes in our family circle over the last two years.  Friends and family have passed on, new family members have arrived..or will be soon...very soon.  But as those that have passed on have left us I've started thinking about legacy.  The Last Moments. 
When Mom told me about her last real moment with her mom I could see that everything that had happened in her life up to that moment faded into nothing.  It was still there but it meant nothing because that last real moment was so special.  It was a privilege for me to hear about it.

Of course there are other last moments.  The phrase "you'll never get a second chance to make a first impression" applies in more ways than just one.   It's a philosophy of mine that if I leave a job I leave on good terms and I absolutely never walk off the job.  If I am scheduled to work, even if I'm leaving the company and it's my last day, I work.  I don't want to be remembered as the guy who screwed the rest of the crew over just because he didn't like his job.

On that note, (no I'm not quitting my job) I recently (August 31st) hit the twenty year mark at Walmart/Sams.  Twenty years!  Nineteen ninety-four was twenty years ago.  I'd say it seems like only yesterday but it really doesn't.  I've lived in four states, moved countless times because I stayed at the same job.  I even got a plaque.  Yes.  I suppose it's a big deal.  Staying at one job for such a long time.  At first I didn't think so.  I've not really accomplished anything except dodging some bullets over the years. (We won't get into that).  However, what I realized was it's more then just what happened at work.  It's the people I've met over the years.  I've done some crazy things.  But I've also met some (crazy) people both inside and outside of work.  Friendships I still have today.  That's what makes the twenty years worth it.  God gave me a pretty awesome twenty years.  I hope the "last moments" (even though we still talk) I've had over the years have been good and that I'll be remembered as a follower of Christ or as someone who strove to be that.

Remembering...and moving on

This summer I went to Michigan for my vacation.  While I was there we had to go to Grandpa and Grandma Roberts' house to get some things (furniture) as they were preparing the house for sale.  Grandpa and Grandma are reaching the end and in a nursing home.  It was a surreal experience for me as it was the first time I'd been in that house in several years.  Nothing had changed.  I walked in and it was like I stepped back in time.  There they were, sitting in the kitchen, excited to see me.  (My trips home at that point were few and far between.  Why take a vacation downstate when you live on Lake Superior?  Besides, I always met the family at the Straits.)    I continued into the dining room, now empty, but I could see the table.  My mind took me back to one of many family reunions.  It was a huge family so there were always a ton of people there.  I was sitting next to Grandpa talking about who knows what.    On the porch I envisioned the large round plastic table.  Some of you may remember it.  It had the cloudy surface with the white trim.  On top was the large bowl of fruit that Grandma always had at every family reunion.  Cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberries, green and red grapes, bananas, and who knows what else.  

It was a tri-level house and people in the 50s and 60s must have been much shorter because I've always had to duck going down those stairs.  I think everyone has.  As I waled downstairs to the second level I could see all the pictures had been removed. I didn't recall pictures being on that wall but the family has grown quite a bit over the last fifteen years.  Grandma had pictures everywhere so it wouldn't surprise me if there were pictures on that wall when I was growing up.  I walked into the room downstairs and there was Grandpa's TV.  The big box TV.  The one from the 60s  A box with a screen.  He always watched Charles Stanley on that.  The second thing I saw was that Great Grandpa and Grandma Roberts' picture was gone.  As long as I can remember it was always the first thing I saw when I walked into the room.  I think that snapped me back to reality.  After we moved the furniture Dad showed me a bunch of houses that Grandpa built.  What a heritage!  Even now, riding with Dad occasionally he'll point to a house a say, "We built that.", or "I remember working on that."  If I'm lucky there will be some unique story that goes along with it.

Over the years I had built up a dislike for my Grandparents, especially my Grandpa.  The reasons are unimportant.  What I came to realize though was that as you get older, you start to see more death or people approaching the end of their lives, your perspective changes.  Grandpa and Grandma are both nearing the end and I know now that any irritations or annoyances were just that.  Did I think they were more?  Yes.  But in the end they really weren't all that important.  The question I'm asking myself is "What do I consider to be important?"  More importantly, what will I do with it?

A Puzzle Piece That's Found Its Home

I've been all over the United States and even to Mexico and Cuba. I think though that this will always be my favorite place. Every time I see this bridge I want to be there. I have to be there. That's why every year I try so hard to make it back. I can't explain it. I just know more and more that Michigan is my home and getting to any Great Lake (in Michigan) is a yearly goal. I made it to Lakes Michigan, Huron and Superior last year and I'm hoping to do the same again this year. Time will tell! Even if I can only get to one though, I'll be happy just to see the clear, blue (and this year cold) water of a Great Lake will be a pleasure.   

There are a lot of people who leave Michigan for many reasons.  The economy is bad, it's cold, and those are very good reasons to leave.  However, if you can stick it out there are some great benefits.  Forty of Michigan's eighty-three counties touch at least one of the Great Lakes.  If you are within the state of Michigan you are always within 85 miles of one of the Great Lakes.  For me, the Great Lakes are in my blood.  It's been said that if you grow up in the state you don't realize how much you miss them until you leave.  Maybe a better way to describe it would be that (for some) you don't realize how big a part of your life they are until they aren't accessible anymore.  When I was getting ready to move to Colorado a guy told me there was no water there and I freaked. My knee jerk reaction was to rethink the whole thing.  Sometimes though, sacrifices have to be made.  Lord willing, someday I'll be back.  

Last year I was in Michigan for a week and Dad and I headed up to the Straits for a couple days.  I hadn't been to Mackinaw City in six years and Mackinaw Island almost ten.  I was going through withdraw.  Not really.  But I was really excited to be going.  

There were some firsts on this trip...also some lasts.  It was the first time we didn't take bikes to the island.  That won't happen again.  Oh, and if any of you are considering staying there keep in mind that staying in St. Ignace may be cheaper but you have to pay every time you cross the bridge so unless you are headed north it might be advantageous to stay on the south side as there is pretty much nothing except the casino and the campground we stayed at in St. Ignace.    Okay.  Enough of that rabbit trail.  

One of the nights we headed back into Mackinaw City we were going to meet up with a family friend I hadn't seen in years.  Bonnietta Benn.  She plays the flute (quite well I might add), and she was playing at a concert in the park. We caught up with her just as she started practicing so we had to wait for her to finish so we waited in the park at a picnic table just sitting, watching, and relaxing.  The bridge was well within view as was the island.  It was a nice evening but something felt oddly different. I looked around and an image popped into my head. A puzzle piece.  I was a puzzle piece.  Suddenly it made sense.   Why, as a troll* (someone who lives in the Lower Peninsula of Michigan under the Mackinaw Bridge), do I fit in more with the Yoopers** (someone born in the UP) then with the trolls?  (I'm actually more of a Yooper trapped in a troll's body.)   Just as the Mackinaw City and the Straits seem to complete my "puzzle" the Mackinaw Bridge represents the link to the family I have in the Upper Peninsula and the love for Lake Superior I've developed over the last thirty years.  It comes back full circle.  I know that there are some who will say it's not possible but I really believe that Michigan is as much a part of me as I am of it.  I bleed blue.  Wolverine blue yes but so much more Lake Superior blue.   That explains why people here in Ohio look at me funny when I tell them I love snow.  Although, truth be told that happens pretty much everywhere.  Now, with all that said, the question bears asking, "Why are you still in the Buckeye State?"  Well, for now, this is where God wants me and I'll stay here until He indicates otherwise.  I've got a good job, good church and I'm close to family here as well and that's reason enough for me to stay.  So until such time as I can get to the Keweenaw and breathe "the cleanest air on earth" (not until 2015) I'll see fit to watch from afar but at the same time enjoy the Straits and life at the other end of the state.  Can't wait to visit you Mom (you too Dad!)  :-) 

Facts on Michigan were taken from the below website
http://www.michigan.gov/mdot/0,4616,7-151-9622_11033_11151-67959--,00.html 

 

Moving On.

I was thinking last night about change of scenery.  Not landscape (although that does play a role given that if
you move the geography may change.)  but relationships.  I've moved several times over the last few years...many times actually, but, aside from my initial move out of my parents' house, only the last couple have taken me across country. 

The fact that we are even able to move across country is profound.  Two hundred years ago that thought was unheard of.    It was more exploration but it was into the unknown and you couldn't just transfer to another job in another state and expect to stay in contact with those in your community.  If you  left that was it.  I don't know how long it takes to ride twenty miles on a horse but I know it's a lot longer then it is to drive it in a car.

Today, in the Age of Technology where we are spoiled with iPhones, Facebook, and the like it is very easy to stay in touch over long distances.  Plus of course a flight from New York to Los Angeles can be done in six hours.  Our world is much smaller then it was even one hunderd years ago.

But is it really that easy to stay in touch?  Yes.  Staying "in contact" is easy.  You can visit, call, and see posts, and "follow", but anyone can do that.  That's not a real relationship.  A cry on your shoulder relationship.  We certainly don't need to have one of those or be one of those all the time but it is deeper then being Facebook friends.  I've found that while I still love and appreciate those that have been (and some still are) in my life it is still hard to maintain a good relationship even with those who I do still connect with on a regular basis just because of the distance.  We can't sit across the table from one another.  As I type that I think of another point though.  Skyping.  Interacting via web cam.  This does make it face to face and you are "across the table" from on another even though one could be in Afghanistan and the other in Michigan.  That is a good way to keep in touch.  Thank God for technology!  It is great to be able to stay in contact with those I've established friendships and family bonds with over the years.  Progress we've made in technology enables me to foster my relationships and build those friendships/family bonds even if I can only see them every couple years.

What Next?

Sometimes I wonder if being single is what I really want.  Usually it's right after (or during) a wedding.  During a wedding is usually when my brain starts thinking about it so that by the time I get to the reception..well the reception is usually the point at which everything gets busy with dancing, toasts, etc so you forget about "real life" but then after it's all said and done and reality sets back in the brain (or at least my brain) starts thinking about the events of the day.    This is when things like my marriage come to mind.  being the last single sibling was hard to take at first.  I didn't think it would be.  "I can handle it."  Not really.  It took some time.  Not a lot of time but the week of Joel's (my last brother to get married) wedding was not easy.  I'll be the first to admit there were tears shed. 

I went to a wedding recently and again, I started thinking about the fact that i was single.  Why was this such an issue?  Did it have something to do wit the fact that I'm turning 40 in a week?  A mid life crisis? A bit early for that.  :-)  When asked I've always talked about the verse that says singleness is a gift  ("I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another^. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.  (1 Corinthians 7:7-8) Also, as of right now I believe that God as called me to being single.  Of course that may change.  (It hasn't been all that easy either.)  Only He knows what my future holds.    That said, given that Jesus said "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and ^(C)the two shall become one flesh.", (Matthew 19:5) it only stands to reason that thoughts would arise in a single person's mind, even if God has called me to be single.  It's a natural feeling.  Right now I'm trying to figure out what to do with them.  I think leaving them at the foot of the cross is my best bet and so that's what I've done.  I'll see where the tide takes me.  I'm looking forward to this adventure!

"If I live to be to be old..."

I just finished reading two books that go hand in hand with each other.  84 , Charing Cross Road and Q's Legacy, both by Helene Hanff and they really encapsulate the life of a struggling writer trying to find identity as a person.  She couldn't make it as a student.   She had to drop out of school but her love for literature found her scouring the library looking for a writer that was easily understandable but still "the best".  That  ended up being Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, M.A., King Edward VII Professor of English Literature (henceforth referred to as Q) in the University of Cambridge and he wrote a book called On The Art of Writing.  She checked it out and found it so compelling that she proceeded to get his other writings.  Thus she became a student of his teaching via his writing.

Helene loved to write and looked for jobs doing that.  She wrote for TV but she continued to read.  As time passed her collection of Q's books (and others) grew.  A source for getting her books was a small book store in London called Marks & Co.  Over twenty years of correspondence via letter she built a relationship with people she never met by buying books and at times just being a nice person. 

Out of that correspondence came 84, Charing Cross Road.   It's a book full of letters.  The book was very successful and actually was consdered a "cult" book.  That is to say it had a cult follwoing.    Hanff became so popular that eventually when Marks & Co got torn down she was given the bookstore sign.  She got thousands of letters over the years,gifts, phone calls, and was able to go to England.  Anyone looking on would say she was a success and quite frankly, they would be right.  She even got a marker on the site of the Charing Cross Road Bookstore where all the correspondence had taken place.  But in the long range scheme of things was she really?  The TV show, the plays, the fans, the trips, the books, and all the stuff she acquired over the years. All those things.  In the end though what was it for?  The books she acquired ended up sitting on a bookshelf accumulating dust and while there was a metal plaque made after her book was published at the site where all the events of the book took place it wasn't until after the store had closed and been torn down. That said, one must ask what kind of a mark we want to leave.  Will it be one that will stand the test of time or will people just look at the mark we leave as a memoir that they shelve with the other trinkets they collect?  Something to think about. 

Two Sides to Every Coin

When a dispute arises it's always good to hear both sides.  The same is true in different life scenarios.  You always get a better perspective when you hear more then one point of view.  The media has two sides, liberal and conservative.  Most liberals have a agenda, as do most conservatives.  Everyone wants something.  The funny thing is that there are those out there who will only listen to or watch FOX and nothing else (unless of course it agrees with their line of thinking.) and there are those who do the same with CNN, NBC etc.  It really doesn't matter what side it is. However, for today I want to focus on the conservative side. I have nothing against conservatives, I am one.   However, to me, what raises flags is when only one side of the story is considered. The vast majority of the media, Hollywood and the political world, is very liberal. They aggressively pushing their agenda and seemingly  doing everything in their power to hide what is really going on. That is one side of the coin and it is a viable reason for conservatives to raise concerns. That said (and here is where I may get myself in trouble.),  I believe that there is a difference between raising concerns and being so concerned about world events from one perspective that it possesses you.  I understand the concern for family, and your fellow man but whatever happened to trusting God for the day to day? The world is falling apart. It has been for years. Yet I look at networks like FOX News (and others like them) and it seems to me that is all they focus on. A lot of opinion with enough fact thrown in to make it legitimate.  Just enough to bring in the viewers and up the ratings. I had opportunity recently to see a lot of the FOX news network and after watching for awhile it was so blatantly obvious to me what they were doing I could see why people were watching.  I wonder where the line between discussing the problems and just griping about them is.  As believers we are to pray for and respect our leaders (or at least the office they hold).  I'm just as guilty of not doing it as anyone else. Probably more so. 

There is no question that we are in desperate times. Bad things are happening and it will only get worse. Much worse. It is sad but true.  I believe that as a follower of Christ first and foremost, but also as an adult and an American, I need to lead by example. If I am not praying for and respecting the public offices (local, state, and national) no matter what, how can I expect the younger generation or anyone for that matter to do it?  Furthermore, if I choose to live with that mindset why should I be surprised when people question my loyalty to Christ?       Final thought:  Don't just pray for the office but for the leader holding it as well, no matter what you think of him/her.  Respect the government.   Don't let the things of this world overwhelm and/or control you. Even if you mean well it will end up having repercussions you may never even know about. Finally, as corny as it sounds, don't worry, be happy. :).